Family Relations

  •  The Ruling on Women Visiting Graves and Etiquettes of Visiting

    It is permitted for your mother to visit the grave itself.  Of course, this should be done observing proper Islamic dress, not mixing with strange men, nor doing any impermissible actions at the grave such as wailing out loud in grief or similar actions.
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  • The Fiqh of Adoption

    The Immense Virtue of Caretaking (kafala)

    In general, there is tremendous baraka and reward in fulfilling the needs of a fellow believer. Our Beloved Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Judgment. Whoever provides ease to someone in difficulty, Allah will provide ease for him in this world and the next… And Allah continues to help the servant so long as the servant continues to help his brother.” [Muslim]
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  • It is permitted and praiseworthy to give zakat to needy in-laws, as this entails two virtues: the virtue of charity (sadaqa) and the virtue of strengthening family relations (silat al-rahim), as indicated by the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him).

    The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Charity given to relatives has two-fold reward.” [Tabarani, al-Kabir, from Abu Umama (Allah be pleased with him)] He also said (peace and blessings be upon him) to the woman asking him about this that she would have two-fold rewards: “The reward of strengthening family ties, and the reward of charity.” [Tabarani, al-Awsat, from Ibn Mas`ud (Allah be pleased with him)]

    Also, it is understood from the Prophetic sunna that one’s family has greater right over one’s charity than others do. In fact, some of the scholars even said that giving zakat to others when one has needy relatives could put the acceptability of one’s zakat in question. While this is not the strongest opinion on the matter, it does highlight the emphasis made in the Prophetic teachings on taking care of the financial needs of family and relatives. [Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar]

    It is only impermissible to give zakat to one’s direct parents, spouse, and children. [ref: Ibn Abidin, Radd al-Muhtar; Mawsuli, al-Ikhtiyar Sharh al-Mukhtar]

    And Allah alone gives success.

  • Should Muslims celebrate Mother’s Day?

    Should Muslims celebrate Mother’s Day?

    In today’s society, we have become accustomed to the traditions of the country that we live in. In the UK a prominent question on the mind of many Muslims is whether we should partake in national celebrations such as Mother’s Day. Is Mother’s Day an innovation that is forbidden within Islam? The ‘Halal or Haram’ team have come together with The Suyuti Institute to explore this issue from various angles.
    The aim of this article is:
    • To look at the history and origins of the concept behind Mother’s Day
    • To explore why some Muslims use the term ‘Bid’ah’ for certain practices
    • To offer a definition and explanation of the term ‘innovation’ (Bid’ah)
    • To highlight the rank of a mother in Islam
    • To conclude whether or not it is permissible to celebrate Mother’s Day in Islam

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  • Question: My fiance wears hijab, but for our wedding she will be wearing something that will reveal her neck. I have advised her that I do not want her doing this and that its not proper hijab. I have tried showing her other styles of hijab that she could use and still cover her neck but she starts to get really irritated about it and says she doesnt like how they look. What is the best way to handle this situation?

    Answer: Wa alaikum assalam wa rahmatullah,

    I hope you are doing well inshaAllah.

    As I am sure you have found, this is a very sensitive issue and must be dealt with carefully and with wisdom. Because of this, it is best to find someone, such as an elder or imam, with whom you and your fiancee feel comfortable discussing this issue. There are however some points of advice that I would like to offer you. I pray they will be of benefit and that Allah will grant both of you every ease, happiness, and His contentment.

    1. One solution to the problems that women face in wearing a proper hijab for weddings is to make the wedding gender-separated. If women and men can be seated in completely different rooms and pictures can be avoided, your fiancee will have much more freedom in what she would like to wear. If you choose to take pictures, she can wear the hijab during the pictures, but keep it off for the rest of the events. Maybe the both of you can reach a compromise by designating certain events which require the hijab, like when she is signing papers and may be in front of non-mahram men; but also allowing for other events that do not require the hijab, like a party for the bride hosted by her girlfriends.

    2. Weddings are extremely important occasions and family members and loved ones often work tirelessly to ensure that everything runs smoothly. Sometimes this results in pressure on some to act a certain way or to wear particular clothes. Brides feel pressured to look their very best. If you feel your fiancee knows what she is doing wrong but she is being pressured, directly or indirectly, to wear the hijab improperly, see if you can address this source of pressure and replace it with a positive influence. See if any friends or members of the family can encourage her to wear a proper hijab. Have someone consult her religious friends who wear the hijab appropriately to show her how she can dress in accordance to the shariah and still look beautiful.

    You have done a good job so far by advising her and showing her alternatives. InshaAllah with your good intention and gentle and proper manner, Allah will help you.

    wassalam,

  • Question : Can we donate eggs or sperm?

    Answer: It is not permitted to donate sperm or eggs to third parties, as this would be go against the principles of ascribing lineage to the biological parents.

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  • If more than half of their wealth is certainly haram, it would not be permitted to eat at their house in the Hanafi school. [Ibn Abidin; Hindiyya]

    If they are close relatives or in other cases of genuine need, one may take a dispensation from the Shafii school when there is a need and eat if the food itself is halal and at least some part of their wealth is halal (which is almost inevitable).

    This dispensation should be avoided, however, when there is no need. The Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) said, “Whoever avoids the doubtful safeguards their religion and honor.” [Bukhari and Muslim]

  • It is permitted to eat the food of non-Muslims, even those who are not People of the Book, though it is (in itself) superior to avoid when reasonably possible.

    When need arises, such as business, da`wah, maintaining neighborly relations (which is strongly emphasized in the sunna), and so on, it is not blameworthy, but one should take reasonable precautions that the food is halal.

    In the West, we have the duty of spreading the light of Islam. The way to do this is simple: follow the sunna. The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to be very careful about fulfilling the rights of his neighbors, even non-Muslim ones, and all those with whom he had dealings. He would send food, visit them when they were sick, and so on… The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) is a mercy to humanity as a whole, not just for Muslims. True followers of the Beloved of Allah are the same.

    Similarly, one should invite non-Muslims to one’s house for food, as food (being the most basic of human needs) has an amazing way of opening hearts and minds, without the need to be “preachy.”

    We have to distinguish two matters: we should have good relations and ties with everyone; we should keep the regular company of believers.

    And Allah alone gives success.

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